Day Nineteen -- No TV Party Tonight...

Today was an awesome day and I got some really great supplies. It was made more fun by my awesome companions Kristine and Liz. I totally forgot my list of things that I wanted to look out for but I know that at least a few of the things I got were things I wanted to get. I’m thinking I might wait until tomorrow to post pictures of the stuff I got. I’m so wiped out I can barely type. So yeah, today’s blog, a wee little one. I even took a nap a few sentences ago (naps are hardly ever a good idea for me). Tomorrow, I’ll be a lot more alert to write a nice entry. I’m not even going to mention this fiasco of a blog on Facebook.

Sad as it is though, it took a really great day to tire me out this much. Oh, and a bit of back pain.

Maybe tomorrow I'll even explain why I'm going to bed with "TV Party Tonight" by Black Flag stuck in my head.

Day Fifteen -- A Bowl Full of "Goulash" Then Back To Work

This is tonight’s dinner.

Rob, upon seeing the picture: I remember that one! 

Me: No you don't.

Rob: Yes I do, it was good.

Me: I made it just now.

Rob: Oh... Well, it looks like something you made before.

Me: ::facepalm::

I show this picture because it was freaking awesome. And even though at this point, I haven't eaten any of it, I know this because I had it the night before, well, minus one thing…

It looks like some kind of Indian dish but it’s not. One ingredient I guess you could say is Indian. What I did was boil some chicken tenderloins with this Mediterranean style vegetable mix from Ralphs. Once done, I put it on a bed of Basmati rice (the Indian ingredient, also, the ingredient missing from the night before). Then I heated up some Tomato Basil Bisque from Vons (also awesome over potatoes) and poured some of it over all, just enough to coat it well but not to be too soupy. My sister would call it “Goulash”. She called everything I ever made that was remotely stew-like, “Goulash”. She also called my Barley Casserole, “Oatmeal stew” which is funny because it wasn’t particularly stew-like at all… but that’s a recipe for a different night.

So I got myself a cup of coffee tonight, sorry, Rob got it for me. I plan on staying up pretty late and actually getting some work done since I’ve been so dysfunctional the past several days. Really though, it’s just been too cold for my brain to work right… and the pharmaceuticals of course. I decided to try to tough out any pain today and just stick with the muscle relaxer but forego the Norco. Hopefully that’s going to help quite a bit. The sad thing is that it’s already 9:30 as I type this and I haven’t gotten anything done today. Hell, I don’t know what the fuck I did today. Yes, I cursed. It’s been that damn frustrating. Though I must admit that that is nowhere near the entirety of the tip of the iceberg that represents the amount of foul language I use on a daily basis :-D …but I digress.

 I think I was foolish enough to think that I’d just have a bit of pain for a couple of days and then be just fine. On top of that, when I haven’t been too sleepy to do anything, we've been on errands or going off on another trip to urgent care, or in the case of today, going for follow-up blood tests and shopping for bland food for Rob, including the previously mentioned Basmati rice. I actually got up early, like WAY early, today, after a night of having a hard time getting to sleep. After going to the bathroom at 6 in the morning and feeling wide awake after I got back in bed, I said screw it, I’m going to get up and do stuff.  My desk chair is right next to a window so I was sitting there and even though the window is closed, cold oozed out and engulfed me like creeping death. I stayed alert enough to make some future business purchases decisions, but next thing I knew, it was already 9. The time seemed to have gone by so fast and I felt like I got nothing done. I was also freezing my butt off. So I crawled back into bed and blasted a hair dryer under the covers for a bit. Then I hastily fell asleep to wake back up at 11.

So, tonight, I’m going to foolishly try to make up for the past week of deficit in the productivity department.  I know, I’ll probably only put a small dent into it. But if I get anything at all done, I’ll be happy. 

Day Ten -- Recuperating

I almost forgot to blog today, mainly because I’m up to my eyeballs in painkillers. Okay so maybe not that much. But it sure feels like it. I’m not exactly fond of how it makes my brain feel like Jell-O. It’s also making me have a hard time thinking about what to write about today.

Today was a rough day. I wanted to do things, make stuff but the fog in my head had made everything I attempted more challenging than I expected. I spent much of the day laying down as well. I am feeling quite a bit better though. No more tears but still a bunch of “ow’s”  I’m expecting to feel even much better tomorrow.

With that, I’m cutting this blog short. I’m injured and on drugs. I shouldn't feel bad about not having much to say. I would have a lot to say about only a few people bothering to inquire if I’m okay, but I won’t go there. People would say I’m a whiny baby but come on. I do have the right to feel this way and wonder where my friends are. I know I have very few anyway but really? But that’s all I’m going to say about that and if anyone mentions it at a later date, I’m going to blame it on the drugs.

I think I’m going to go make something or at least start something before I go to sleep.

Day Nine -- I've Fallen and Getting Up Hurt Like a MOFO...

So today I did something that I have been putting off forever. FOREVER! And now I’m so glad that I’ve finally done it and it will no longer be a weight on me. I have to do this more often. Most of the time (one would hope) the stress due to putting things off and the unwarranted, okay sometimes it’s warranted, fear about what could happen if that issue is dealt with is so much worse and more hard on you than actually dealing with the problem. I could easily say that right now, I’m going to meet all challenges head on and whip them all into submission, but that’s not going to happen. I can only do my best day by day and maybe one day I will be that type of kick-ass person. But I don’t think this is something that I can just one day decide to do and have it be written in stone.

Just like this whole blogging every day for a year thing. It’s a challenge, and day by day I’m succeeding, but I know that it probably won’t take much for me to miss a day. Nonetheless, day by day I try to get it done. I think the key is to not beat myself up if I ever slip up and miss a day, or not meet a challenge head on, as I spoke about before. There are so many improvements that I would love to make and because of this, I know I can easily get overwhelmed by it all. That’s because I’m a sort of, “think big and try to do everything at once, fail miserably and then go into stagnation until the next batch of ideas pop up” kind of person. I see where it’s gotten me (nowhere.) but old habits die hard.

So now, I guess my prime goal is to take on all my other goals individually and not crowd myself and try to do everything at once. I am assuming that the better I get at this, the more confident I’ll be at tackling each goal and thus having better success in achieving them. My biggest hurdles are procrastination, what I have self-diagnosed as Adult ADHD and lack of self-confidence where I need it most.

Good thing I wrote all of this earlier today because early this evening, I had a fall, and now I'm on pain meds that seem to want to take their own sweet time in working. Back pain really sucks. This isn't the kind of excitement I wanted for material to blog about... :-(

No pic today. I'm gonna go to bed and sleep for a couple days... except for the bit of time I take to write tomorrow's blog. Yes, I'm gonna do it, because I'm a boss!